Within the deepest suffering lies the
seed of bliss.
........Within the darkest darkness is found the brightest light.
There is such great suffering upon this planet ~ therefore the
potential for bliss is equally available. Between the interplay
of dark and light there is a doorway, a threshold between worlds
we must cross to find our way home back to the sun, back to
the Source, back to the One we are and have always been before
we dreamed a strange dream of being separate.
My heart aches for the suffering I feel in this world. I
long for nothing more in this life than to ease this suffering.
It is for this purpose that I offer myself. I feel the cries
of humanity, I feel the cry of the earth. All of creation is
crying to awaken to its true nature as infinite love and arise
from the dream of separation and suffering.
We are at the dawn of this awakening ~ the last hours of the
dark night are fast fading...
Once, some years ago, I journeyed through
It was at the end of 20 days of fasting
that I laid upon a remote beach on the Big Island of Hawaii and
gazing up into the hot Hawaiian sun at mid-day, my eyes did not
burn, nor my skin, but rather I saw a cool, dark center, which
resembled a doorway or an opening to a tunnel. Closing my eyes,
I disappeared slipping from my body, I journeyed through this
doorway and traversed a pathway that led me through suns beyond
suns back to the Source. Here I was instructed on the nature
of Reality ~ and in fact, the unreality of what is perceived
as reality. Beyond the mind's perception, beyond all thought,
beyond all sense of separate identity, I dissolved back into
the One Being.
Merged into the One, which is an indescribable immensity of
Love, I returned back to my body with the exquisitely simple
innocence of a newborn baby. No thoughts, no mindonly being
purest love. The truth of existence is this love, and our only
purpose for being is to Be That , fully realized. The One formless
pure consciousness awake to itself in form Love incarnate.
Beyond all dogma and religion, concepts
and ideologies, the pure principle of Christ is Love fully realized,
From the stars to the stones; from the vast whirling galaxies
down into the soft, spiraling, unfolding petals of a rose, the
pure principle of Love is being realized. The One Being is Realizing
When love is fully realized, God is fully realized in man.
This is the experience of Bliss.
Suffering is separation from love. Bliss is union with
loveto Be That which is in Truth the only reality.
The pathway Home is through the
sun, and the sun is within us, which is the heart.
The journey through the sun back to Source is a journey through
the heart back to love.
It is one and the same.
In my work as a healer and teacher, I offer myself as a guide
back into the heart and back into the sun. For most of humanity
the door of the heart is closed by pain, fear and a myriad of
unfelt feelings that arise from the experience of separation.
The only way to be free of suffering is to meet all that lives
within the heart with compassion and acceptance. To meet it
and embrace it as it is. This meeting is a meeting of consciousness
with unconsciousness, of light with darkness, of love with fear.
In this meeting lies the mystery of incarnation and alchemical
transfiguration. Literally the Christ is resurrected from the
dark tomb of unconsciousness. Love is realized.
This world is a dream ~ a play of
conciousness ~ an exquisitely intricate interplay of light and
shadow. What exists is pure consciousness; the One Being ever
longing to know Itself through this interplay.
I remember even as a child very often feeling I was in a
dream and that whoever was looking out through these eyes was
looking from beyond the dream, from a place that was very still,
very quiet, very awake. But there was some gap, some chasm that
separated the dream from the dreamer ~ and from this sense of
separation there arose great longing to be one with that which
I knew I was, but could not quite touch. This sense of separation
from the truth of who we are is the root of all suffering.
As the years of my childhood moved on into adolescence the
perception of suffering in
Myself and in the world around me increased. It became an unbearable
agony from which I was ever seeking to find relief. Sometimes
I wanted to die. I seriously considered taking my life. But
instead I found my way to the wilderness. I was fortunate to
live in an area of California that was surrounded by vast wilderness.
I began to go for days and sometimes weeks at a time into the
wilderness, alone, with a backpack, wandering all over the mountains
and valleys. This saved my life. Sitting beside a fire each
night, under the stars, alone and quiet, I found peace. I could
go on. In the silence and solitude of nature I could touch a
greater reality and feel my place in the order of the universe.
Usually when I went into the wilderness I ate very little
as I had to carry everything on my back, and eventually I began
exploring fasting. Fasting opened me up to a far wider awareness
and around this time was when I began to have Essene memories.
As ancient Essenes we often went into the desert wilderness
and fasted. This was a means to purify body and mind and also
to open to transcendent states of consciousness. It was at this
Time that I began to have the first glimmers of mystical union.
Sometimes I would experience what seemed like my consciousness
turning inside out, or imploding, and rather than my being a
small body inside of a vast universe, I would be the universe
and everything was inside of my body.
Then in the winter of 1986, I was graced by an experience
that was to completely change my life.
I was making a journey from Mt.Shasta
in northern California to the Ojai Valley in the south. Midway
I stopped along the beautiful central coast of Big Sur to stay
the night. Here I camped on a secluded cliff above the ocean.
Sometime in the night I was awakened by what seemed like a bright
light shining upon my face. But when I opened my eyes there
was no one there, only the clear, vast canopy of stars blazing
brilliantly in the cold winter night sky. Just above me I recognized
that star I had always loved the most, Sirius, shining like a
jewel against the dark velvet night. How many nights when I
was an adolescent walking alone in the southern desert had I
walked beneath this star and felt comforted by its familiar presence.
Now, this night in Big Sur beside the sea, I once more communed
with my old friend. But something happened this night that was
beyond anything experienced before in this life. As I lay gazing
into the heavens, I began to feel there was a certain quality
of presence that emanated from this star. It was asif the light
was speaking to me, not with words or thoughts, but with a far
more direct language of being. It felt as if my body was expanding
and the cells were moving apart until there were vast distances
of space between each cell. All sense of "me"disappeared
~ and what remained was an indescribably blissful state of Being
All That Is ~ all of creation and the creator all at once, of
this world and all worlds and beyond. One Being,
and this Being was Infinite Love. A love not of this world,
yet creating and sustaining this world; a love so beyond all
concepts of love; a love that is utterly and blissfully Home.
Time ceased to exist ~ all was eternally now ~ an immensity
of Being One beyond all duality and all constructs of time and
space. This night I found what I had always been looking for,
longing for, homesick for this night I came Home.
As is measured in the measure of time, twenty years
have passed since that night with Sirius beside the sea. The
stories are too numerous to tell what happened after that night.
Perhaps we'll meet one day and if you like I"ll tell you
the stories or perhaps they will Disappear, returning as all
stories must, to the ethers from which they have come.
Most importantly I must say that I tell these stories for
one purpose, and that is to inspire and bring hope to a seemingly
hopeless world and to all my brethren who thirst to awaken from
the agonizing dream of separation and suffering that is the human